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ragbag:

onomatopoetic f-words

perhaps you are wondering how me and my neolithic lover, wertuff the pungent, are able to communicate. the answer as of now, is through an uncanny mix of obscene gesture and etching crude drawings into primordial mud. while we are able to communicate our base desires, i am finding it quite difficult to describe such complex concepts as surfing and cyberspace.

there is hope on the horizon however, because i have come to acquire a very curious dictionary of comic book onomatopoeia. thus, i can now scream fzzakkl into wertuff the pungent’s face and my lover will know instantly that i am referring to the sound that cyberspace makes. i can moan flummp and wertuff will realise that i am telling a story about a shark and the sound that it makes when it jumps out of the water and onto my surfboard.

while wertuff the pungent and i acquaint ourselves with the rich onomatopoetic vocabulary of comic books, you can take a sneak peak at some highlights from the f-section: 

FAGROOLANA · the sound in a morgue of a body cabinet drawer opening
FEEOOOT · the musical sound of a dowsing stick when it finds water
FERRIP · the sound of a deck of cards being riffled
FFFRRRAAPFT · the sound made by an inflated body rapidly deflating as it flies through the air like a balloon 
FLOOF FLOOFITY FLIF FLIF FLOF DAFLAF · the sounds of an entire smoke signal communication (translation unknown)
FLUMMP · the sound of a shark jumping out of the water and onto a surfboard
FWEEEEE · the sound of Spiderman swinging from his web cord
FWOOM · the sound of a non-physical entity taking instantaneous physical form
FZZAKKL · the sound made when entering cyberspace

says the editor of this dictionary, “comic book words beginning with f  are most often related to swift, sudden motion.” which makes them a perfect area of study for me and my neolithic lover.